The Hogarth Health Club
Airedale Avenue
W4 2NW
020 8747 4047
When we first moved to Chiswick, we often ended the week with a Friday night workout at the Hogarth, before rehydrating with a lager in the bar and refuelling with a curry nearby. If there was a healthy option, it wasn't an appealing one.
That's all changed now. The Crucial Café was officially opened in September 2015 by that picture of health, Bob Geldof (presumably not on a Monday). It's headed up by Ruth Wood, a clinical nutritionist and private chef, who says her mission is to make it easier and more convenient for you to eat in a way that is good for your body and will make you feel fantastic. Whilst situated in the Hogarth Club, Crucial is open to everyone, though its location means that, for the most part, it's Hogarth members who are regular attendees.
We went for breakfast, post-workout for me and Miss West4urants, pre-workout for Master West4urants. Miss West4urants had a bowl of their homemade granola, which came with greek yoghurt (coconut is available as an option) and berries, which she was very happy with.
With the interests of the blog in mind - and an attempt not to order two of the same - I chose the smashed avocado on toast with chilli, lime and a couple of poached eggs. I think I got the avocado that was a tiny bit past its best. I'm probably being picky, though I have eaten enough avocado on toast in the past 9 months to know a good avocado when I see one.
Master West4urants ordered the scrambled egg with smoked salmon and was a little disappointed with the somewhat meagre portion of salmon on offer but otherwise was happy.
Again, in the interests of the blog we ordered a juice. We gave the Bloody Ruth a miss and went for something green. I forget what was in it - I think kale, celery, lime, pineapple and apple - but it tasted good, looked healthy and am sure was going all the way to making us feel fantastic.
Food (for 3): £17.50
Drink: (for 3): 9.50
Total: £27.00
227 - 229 Chiswick High Road
W4 2DW
020 8994 2277
Byron arrived in Chiswick in early 2014, when George Osborne's favourite burger restaurant replaced Bridget Jones' favourite bistro, Café Rouge, which had outstayed its welcome by about a decade.
Seven years earlier Tom Byng opened the first Byron in London, inspired by the hamburgers he used to eat at the Silver Top diner in Providence, Rhode Island, during a four year stint in America. Apparently the chain is named partly after the eponymous poet and partly after an old English word for barn, or cowshed. In 2013 the chain was sold by Gondola to private equity outfit Hutton Collins for £100m. There are now more than 40 Byrons in London alone, and three within a mile and a half of our house.
We sat outside on one of the warmest evenings of the year, serenaded by the noise of double deckers and police sirens.
Only Master WEST4URANTS went for the traditional burger experience, opting for the B-Rex, a 6oz hamburger with onion rings, streaky bacon, American cheese, jalapeños, pickles, onion, BBQ sauce and mayonnaise.
I decided to try the new Clucky Balboa, possibly the worst named burger since McDonald's New Zealand launched a 'design your own burger' competition in July and ended up with such classics as Pound Me Behind Daddy, Rektal Prolapse and Puusee Sammich. The Balboa is a fried chicken breast with guacamole, sriracha mayonnaise, pickled red onion, sliced pickles and shredded iceberg. It tasted good, though they should probably add 'deep' in front of 'fried' in the description.
Both Mrs and Miss WEST4URANTS chose the skinny veggie burger - a bunless bean patty with roasted red pepper, baby spinach, tomato, red onion, aioli and Byron sauce. Which is basically not a burger. And as if that weren't enough to upset the burger fascists, we didn't have a potato chip between us, just sweet potato and courgette fries.
Byron is a good venue for a quick family supper. The sweet potato fries aren't as good as GBK's but the table service puts it a step further up the burger ladder. Dive in.
Food (for 6): £78.95
Drink: £28.75
Total: £122.70
282 Chiswick High Road
W4 1PA
020 8995 2266
Eight months in and we're up to number 40. You don't need to be a maths genius to work out that we're not going to get to 100 before Christmas. And we've done most of the best breakfast options, so Mrs WEST4URANTS wasn't exactly bowled over when I suggested we might hit one of the Acton Lane cafes for her birthday breakfast.
But then we remembered we hadn't been to Gail's this year. It's not exactly an old favourite, but we have been fairly regularly and its coffee did help Master WEST4URANTS get through his A-levels, being the perfect distance from the library for a break.
Gail's opened in Chiswick in 2010 on the site previously occupied by Clinton Cards. While working together at McKinsey, Israeli Ran Avidan and Floridian Tom Molnar bought half of Gail Mejia's bread business and opened their first neighbourhood bakery in Hampstead in 2005. There are now more than 30 Gail's around London.
The birthday girl and elder Miss WEST4URANTS went for the Greek yoghurt with seasonal fruit compote and granola (I accept that the picture makes it look like vanilla ice cream with strawberry sauce, but anyone who knows them knows that's not very likely). Miss W's friend opted for the fruit salad and an orange juice, a nutritional step up from her usual Diet Coke start to the day.
And because I'd had such a modest supper the previous evening (see last blog) I opted for the egg and bacon on an English muffin. And between us we got through a few black Americanos; the coffee is better here than many of the specialist coffee shops on the High Road.
Food (for 4): £24.00
Drink: £18.35
Total: £42.35
301-303 Chiswick High Road
W4 4HH
020 8747 0377
If ever a place embodied the phrase 'don't judge a book by its cover' then it is this dreary block at the western (i.e. unfashionable) end of Chiswick High Road, which houses the fourth best restaurant in Britain and 60th best in the World.
Although initially trained as a chef in his native Sweden, Mikael Jonsson became a solicitor and part-time food blogger before opening Hedone in Chiswick in 2011 on the site of a former Lebanese grill and nightclub. Jonsson had never worked in a professional kitchen yet within 14 months his restaurant became the second in Chiswick to be awarded a Michelin star when it was named in the 2013 guide.
The restaurant was redesigned and reopened in October last year. It now seats just 18 at tables, with room for a further 4-6 at bar stools overlooking the kitchen. Two of these stools have names on the back in honour of the restaurant's best customers - a man from Amsterdam who has eaten at Hedone more than 300 times and his cheapskate rival from Frankfurt who has managed a mere 150 visits. So shame on you if you live in Chiswick and can't be bothered to venture further west than Sainsbury's.
A more reasonable objection to visiting might be the price - food of this quality does not come cheap. There is a menu but you only have one decision to make - whether to have the 7-course tasting menu (£85) or the 10-course carte blanche option (£125).
And if - like us - you worry that it all sounds a bit like one of those nouvelle cuisine places where you have to stop for a kebab on the way home because you're so hungry, then don't. Downstairs is a bakery which sells 1,500 loaves a week to some of London's best known restaurants. There is limitless bread and it's worth the trip on its own.
It was Mrs WEST4URANTS' birthday and we went with two local friends. We chose the tasting menu, and accompanied it with the £89 wine pairing. Mr Jonsson serves the wine himself, and explains a little of the provenance and style of each one. Pretty much all the wines we had were French, but none the less interesting for that. Not your typical muscadet or beaujolais here, Mr Jonsson puts the same care into picking the wines as he does the food.
Regular readers of this blog will know that if you want long and detailed descriptions of the food then you're better off reading a proper restaurant critic like AA Gill. And if I'm honest, even if I had been taking notes, I could barely understand any of the descriptions and by the eighth glass of wine (we had a cheese course too) they'd have been pretty illegible.
And anyway, it can get a bit boring reading long lists of what other people have eaten. So here's a long (but sketchy) list of what we ate: two little amuse-bouches, one a sliver of foie gras on a pepper crisp, the other a filled tiny cone of dried salmon; 'fish and chips', a piece of monkfish in a potato crisp with all the juice and starch extracted; a parmesan cream with chia seeds; a variety of tomatoes with almond ice cream; crab with hazelnut mayonnaise; lobster; squab pigeon with cherries; cheese; figs; a chocolate dessert; petits fours. And lots of bread.
Chiswick is lucky in both the quantity and quality of its restaurants. But even in such exalted company Hedone stands out a mile. Foodies around the world will be envious that we have such exceptional cooking within walking distance. Go.
Food (for 2): £184.50
Drink: £223.90
Total: £460.32
1 Evershed Walk
119 Acton Lane
W4 5HH
020 8994 8262
Tucked away off the bottom of Acton Lane, The Swan is an old favourite of ours. A former Bass Charrington local boozer, the pub was refurbished and reopened as a gastropub in 2003 and has remained popular with locals ever since, partly because little has changed, including the Irish lady who runs the place, who may be called Barbara, but may not. It was voted Best Pub in Chiswick in last year's Time Out Love London Awards.
It's confusingly listed under South Acton on the Beer in the Evening website although the strangely named 'Beer Gutt' helpfully points out the differences between the two areas on the site: "Chiswick is a really upmarket area full of hooray henrys and ladies who lunch; South Acton is a downmarket area full of Somalians and young birds with prams."
Earlier this year The Swan hit the news, well Chiswickw4.com,
when it was rated only 1 for hygiene by the Food Standards Agency, but last month it reverted to 5 (top mark) so we felt it was time to go back.
Well, that and the weather. Though to be fair it really is a pub for all seasons - in the winter it's a cosy wood-panelled refuge from the cold, in the summer the large outside garden is a welcome respite from the sweaty pavements. On one of the hottest evenings of the year we opted for the garden and - as if knowing we were bloggers with a following of almost a dozen - our waitress was at pains to highlight that the pub had been renovated last year, with the garden smartened up and a new room added.
The beer is good, with a range of handpump ales and interesting lagers on tap, but the food is the draw. It "combines Mediterranean flavours with the best British ingredients which are delivered daily direct from the markets" (in a big Brakes lorry presumably).
On the eve of National Burger Day (yes, really), Master WEST4URANTS had the burger. Ever the yang to his yin, his sister went for the burrata with heritage tomatoes from the starter menu, with a side salad. Mrs WEST4URANTS and I both had the pan-roasted fillet of sea trout with broad beans, peas, spinach and lemon, which was a perfect mix of summer flavours. And chips.
Just to prove it really was summer, we washed it all down with an aperol spritz and a bottle of Brangelina's ubiquitous rosé. The Swan looks set to retain its crown for a while yet.
Food (for 5): £80.00
Drink: £49.90
Total: £146.14
13-15 Bollo Lane
W4 5LR
020 8994 6037
What is bollo?
(a) a bun made from corn, yuca or potato
(b) a slang term for extremely drunk
(c) the westernmost brook feeding the channels running through Chiswick
The answer, of course, is all of them. And while it's tempting to think The Bollo House might be named after definition (b), I think (c) is more likely.
Bollo Brook rises near Ealing Common tube station and closely follows the course of the District Line (or vice versa) to Acton Town station and from there along Bollo Lane, before flowing south through Turnham Green to the grounds of Chiswick House and then finally draining into the Thames downstream of Barnes Bridge. Bollo Brook formed the boundary of Lord Burlington's estate in Chiswick. The brook originally fed the lakes and fountains of Chiswick House, but because the laundries upstream were polluting the waters it now flows through a pipe underneath the lake.
The pub describes itself as "a beautiful cozy corner pub/restaurant hidden away behind Chiswick Park station". Originally built in 1885 and named the Railway Tavern for the workers constructing the railway lines nearby, it was renamed The Bollo House back in 2000. It's owned by the Metropolitan Pub Company, which also owns the Duke of Sussex and the City Barge in Chiswick.
Mrs WEST4URANTS had had a stressful day and nobody felt like cooking so we headed out for supper. I started with the parma ham and peach salad, which was tasty enough, but contained just two of the thinnest slides of peach I've ever seen. Mrs W went for the bruschetta, and both of the teenagers chose the crispy squid.
Master WEST4URANTS opted for the burger with bacon. He declared this the best burger he'd ever had, though in the interests of full disclosure it became apparent that this opinion was designed specifically to wind up his sister, who after much deliberation had decided not to order it. She plumped for the crab linguine, and was quite happy with that. The parmesan fries were a big hit.
Mrs W and I both had the harissa chicken breast with sweet potato hash, washed down with glasses of rose with ice. The chicken was just right spice-wise, the hash was basically just diced potato, but nice enough. Nice, dice, spice, ice.
Food (for 4): £86.00
Drink: £25.15
Total: £125.04
Burlington Lane
W4 2QN
020 8995 6356
We've been waiting to review Chiswick House Cafe for some time now. Waiting for the weather to be half decent, the moment to be right and the stars to align, so we felt a little like trespassers when we pitched up without the dog, who is on her own seaside holiday. Chiswick House is dog central, though the cafe, thoughtfully when one isn't a dog owner, less thoughtfully when one is, has a strict on the lead policy in the vicinity. This Sunday, it didn't matter to us. We pitched up and only had to dodge the numerous buggies, small children, pigeons and of course, other people's dogs.
The Cafe stands in the grounds of the recently restored grounds of Lord Burlington's 18th Century Palladian Manor, Chiswick House (worth a look round if you have time and a few quid). I was explaining to my children, that it was Lord Burlington's country house, well a halfway country house to Blenheim Palace, which they found difficult to grasp, given that they think they live well within the hustle and bustle of London. The Cafe was a very run down affair until 2011 when it was designed by Caruso St John (me neither) and rebuilt winning the RIBA London Building of the Year. One of my few claims to fame is that I was photographed at the old cafe for a Time Out review - presumably sometime before 2011.
Anyway, I digress. We went for brunch. Mr and Master West4urants had the bacon sandwich and Miss younger West4urants the sausage sandwich (don't tell me they're not adventurous). All good - served on white bread which, whilst not appealing to myself, is perfect for the less health conscious.
I had a croissant because I just can't wait that long for breakfast and had wolfed down some home made granola at home. We did have to wait quite a long time for the food to arrive which is kind of irritating - surely, surely bacon and sausages are half cooked in advance? They do the full works for breakfast if you feel like it, plus the ubiquitous smashed avocado on toast, plus soups, salads, etc for lunch.
It's a proper little cafe in the heart of Chiswick House and we're very lucky to have them both. With or without a dog, pay it a visit though I am sure you have already.
Food (for 4): £17.15
Drink: £8.90
Total: £26.05
